Rubber Ducks
by A Beautiful Breakdown
Summary: Moving on is a difficult thing to do when you feel like there is nothing left. In the wake of a tremendous loss, Sora finds sanity within the arms of a friend and a small piece of yellow plastic


_Rubber Duck_

_Summary: Moving on is a difficult thing to do when you feel like there is nothing left. Highschool can be hard, but worth the wait when all things come together in the end. In the wake of a tremendous loss, Sora finds sanity within the arms of a friend and a strange yellow piece of plastic._

I wasn't sure about the rating, so I stuck it under M just incase.  
So, rated M for mature themes. 

* * *

High school had been the most anticipated event since grade school. Though it wasn't so much the title or experience itself, but the transcendence from grade schooler to high school student that was important. It meant you weren't a little kid anymore, the rules changed as you entered into a whole new playing field. 

Sora could remember watching from the playground as Riku and his friends gathered around nervously, waiting to be segregated into class. He was always scared that entering into the big brick building on the other side of the gym meant you changed. You walked in one day, a happy go lucky kid, to come out a moody teenager that afternoon. He could remember checking Riku daily as he met up with the older boy by the guardrail, ready to walk home together. He'd poke and prod, making sure Riku was still Riku inside before running off in a fit of laughter as the older boy chased hot on his tail.

He was probably the only kid not excited about high school and growing up, the only one who maintained that, girls are icky mind set until the age of thirteen. He wasn't envious though, learning through his older friends experiences. It didn't really bother him that things seemed to happen to his friend first. Sora merely sat by, allowing the older student a confident, learning from his blunders and conquests the way an apprentice might.

They were always together, laughing in the hallways, sharing their lunch, gossiping over the older boy's recent girlfriend. It always seemed Riku went through women like Sora did socks, and Sora hated socks. Whatever it was, it didn't matter in the end, the moment they walked out of that building and they were still friends.

When Riku's graduation came around, Sora was probably more upset then anyone else. He watched the grad students huddle around getting their pictures taken, waiting quietly for his friend to slip away and join him for a well deserved congratulations. He didn't mean to cry, really, but it seemed the thing to do, everyone hugging and saying goodbye, commenting on how much they'd miss everything when an entire summer lie a head of them.

Sora had met Riku's grad friends; he'd met all of Riku's friends and often wondered why it was he'd skip going to keg parties or movie nights just to spend time with the junior. He was sure the older kids hated him for the way he tagged along at Riku's side, hated him for how much time he stole away from the more popular boy. Still, that night was no different then any other, Tidus and Wakka could be seen conversing with Riku right before he had swept Sora into an earth shattering hug.

"They want me to go to a party after this," Sora remembered Riku saying, his arms around the young boy's middle.

He could remember feeling so disappointed, almost rotten inside as he rest his head against his friends shoulder, stifling a sniffle, "yeah?" he attempted to suppress his disappointment, lost within the tight embrace. He could feel Riku's head nod, the way his hair mixed with Sora's just before he pulled away. Sora always felt ashamed when Riku caught him crying, he knew the other students made fun of him for it, wondering all along why it was he _really_ kept Sora around.

"Yeahhh I told them I had better things to do," Riku mused, slipping away from the young boys lithe form only to slip his arm around Sora's neck. He always did that, mentioned how much his other friends wanted him around, sliding in, in a nonchalant manner how he'd rather send his time with his younger friend.

It always made him feel important, the way Riku would lavish him in attention, how the older boy would answer his phone day or night if he say that Sora was calling. When Sora finally managed himself a girlfriend, he spent his evenings on the phone with Riku regaling him with horror stories of how bad a kisser her was, or how poorly he had preformed in bed. Riku had always made the whole thing seem so easy, moving through life in an effortless motion. Sora on the other hand felt much less graceful, more ugly duckling then the swan.

Riku was always so nice about it though, treating Sora to a soft understanding chuckle as he assured the boy he was petrified his first time, or that not all girls were psycho. His voice had a calming effect on Sora, nothing could be bad if came for Riku's mouth.

The school year plugged on, Riku lost amidst the grownup world of University while Sora drown in the small pond they called high school. He missed having his friend around to save him from the horrors growing up had to offer. Their nightly phone calls dropped to three times a week when Riku had been forced to pick up a part time job. Then but a few weeks after Christmas, just days after Riku had gone back school, Sora's mom was killed. He stopped answering the phone, stopped eating and eventually stopped coming out of his room. His life was spent curled up on his mattress; face permanently stained with salty tears.

Looking back on the whole experience, it was obvious there were better ways to handle the grief. His father had been worried, but couldn't stay home trying to coax Sora out of his room. Riku called every night, sometimes even from his job just to check in, leaving messages upon messages for the young boy. They didn't seem to matter as Sora's eyes bore off into space waiting to hear his mothers calming voice tell him it was ok. Hers was the only voice he wanted so desperately to hear. He needed her more then he needed anyone.

He could remember how his father would catch Riku between classes, calling the young man to have entire conversations sitting outside Sora's door.

"Oh, home this weekend Riku?" Sora's father called upon a Wednesday afternoon, "You'll be home tomorrow night huh? No classes Friday then?"

When his father's voice fell quiet Sora knew he was listening for some sign of life stirring from within room. Like it had been yesterday, Sora could recall the faint haze of static which lingered within the air as his father sat, back propped against his door, portable phone in hand. He could even hear the faintest squabble of Riku chattering at his father.

Sure enough on the night that followed Riku had appeared on his doorstep. He spent hours sitting outside Sora's door, not speaking; just existing in the same small world Sora had confined himself too. He didn't bother going home; he just sat there, positioned against the door, waiting for Sora to let him in. He didn't want Riku though, he wanted his mother back. None of them understood that then, how desperate he had been, clutching a photo of his mother close to his chest for the few hours of sleep he managed.

It had to have been well after midnight when Sora managed to his feet for the first time in what, at the time felt like days. The feeling was unforgettable, the weight in his stomach which seemed to circulate throughout his entire being. It was like being made of lead, trying to walk without the energy to lift those heavy feet. Instead he shuffled, sliding across the wood floor to unlock the door. Whether he was tired of the loneliness or desperate for affection, his memory couldn't recall, but as the light from the hall spilt into his room Sora knew he was about to break.

Riku's broken image bore into his mind in that moment, the dark circles worn beneath his once beautiful lively eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days, the life and lustre slipping out of his body, lost upon the air. He looked worried and yet relieved at the same time, his kind aquamarine eyes set upon Sora's thinning body curled into the fetal position on the bed. Why he was smiling, Sora still wasn't sure, but he it was something to this day he was thankful for. That beautiful, _I love you_ smile that made the world melt away. It made Sora feel guilty for feeling just a pang of contentment as he watched his dear friend carefully. He knew Riku had been crying, the whites of his eyes lie dull beneath the darkness of the room, decorated with the faintest hint of red.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours, time was so dangerously distorted back then but as Riku crawled onto his bed, Sora's breath fell bated against the back of his teeth. He could remember the shudder his body gave beneath the warmth Riku's sudden embrace allowed. His elder friends arms wrapped around his waist, snaking their way beneath Sora's neck as Riku lie at his back. Their bodies touched and Sora cried. Walls which had been built up over days and days of painful quiet shattered and crumbled beneath the weight of the embrace. His body trembled beneath Riku's, Sora's cheek nuzzled against the warm flesh of Riku's arm as he sobbed through the silence.

Had words been uttered, they fell beneath the profound emotion in the moment. Words seemed pointless, as the sweet feeling of home crept over the two. They must have laid like that for hours, neither boy bothered by sleep, awake as the sun came up, warming the dark curtains which shadowed their small world. At one point Sora's father had walked by, pausing as he passed his son's door. He didn't linger long, just a moment or two, probably saying a quiet thanks to the young man who broke Sora's walls down.

"It's not fair Ri..." the words fell, strained as they forced their way over aching vocal cords.

"Never is eh..." was Riku's soft response, a whisper spoken into Sora's hair as he held his young friend tight. "She'd hate that you were doing this though..."

Sora felt angry, trying in desperation to free himself from the traitor-ess grasp which held him near. He didn't want to hear that, he didn't want Riku to speak at all, yet the young mans voice was oddly calming, "we were going to celebrate..." he stated quietly, "I'd just gotten my letter of acceptance, and she insisted we get cake, ice-cream cake, my favourite. _Nothing but the best_ she, and she was gone."

Riku's grip upon his friend grew stronger as Sora's voice rose a few octaves, struggling to suppress ragged emotion. "She loved you..."

"Last thing she did was tell me how proud she was, ruffled my hair like she always did..." Sora squeaked, his tears slipped over the warmth of his cheek to burn Riku's arm. A steady rain decorated the fair boys complexion as Sora's fingers wound between Riku's at his stomach.

They didn't speak the rest of the day. Sora barely moved at all. When evening fell, Riku managed to peel himself from his friend's side in order to prepare a small meal for the boy. Watching carefully as Sora picked at his supper, breaking off pieces of cracker to place each shard gingerly in his mouth. It seemed impossible to allow his eyes to linger upon Riku for too long, his friend so ready to rush in and save him at the slightest sign of pain. Sora just wanted Riku to be happy. He suddenly felt guilty that Riku had taken himself away from school and work in order to remain at his side.

"Where's Kairi been during this whole thing?" Riku finally managed the question.

Sora's blank expression rose, mouth in mid chew as his fingers toyed idly with a piece of cracker. Kairi, yes there had been someone with that name in his life at one point, but Sora's memory strained to pick up the pieces which tied her life to his own.

"You're girlfriend..." Riku added thoughtfully.

Sora just looked stunned, even now Kairi, the name or the person attached to it, wasn't someone he can recall too fondly. She may have been the girl he'd given himself to, his first, everything, but she was so insignificant now as Sora struggled to recall.

"She left..."

"Left?" Riku's voice echoed

"Yeah, she stood on the other side of the door begging for me to come out, I think..." Sora swallowed the stray pieces of cracker, saddened pools of cerulean blue peering straight at Riku as he answered, "She said I was too much, I needed to get over it."

Riku seemed absolutely dumbfounded, curious and yet applauded at the same time, "yeah?"

Sora only nodded slightly, "She said she was sorry she wasn't you..."

"Me... Me?" It was obvious how Riku struggled with his shock and disgust, he'd never really like Kairi much, a fact made all to known by both parties.

It was late Saturday evening before Sora was ready to leave his room.

"Sora, you really need to wash..." Riku pleaded, helping his dear friend to his feet. When Sora protested, the older boy swept him into his arms effortlessly, nudging the door with his hip as he carried Sora down the hallway.

The strangest sort of belonging accompanied the young mans strong arms, Sora winding his own around Riku's neck as he rest his head upon the older boys shoulder. He wasn't allowed to fight this, watching the smiling faces hanging upon the wall pass him by as he was carried away from his comfort zone. He curled his toes, hiding his face from his parents wedding photos, his forehead tucked away against the nape of Riku's neck. That air felt cold, so very different from the stuffy feel his room had granted. He rubbed his feet together, eyes closed tight as the bright halogen lights clicked on in response to Riku's elbow. Both boys seemed to cower slightly before Sora was brought to his feet, arms sliding away from Riku's neck.

"I want to go lay down..." Sora protested, defiant eyes watching, as if to see how far he might be able to push his friend.

Riku grumbled and rolled his eyes, he was waiting for Sora to comply to his wishes and ready himself for a shower, a bath, anything to wash away skuz that had developed over the last two weeks. "You need to wash, I'm going to change your sheets and get you new clothes... I expect to hear that shower running when I close the door..."

Sora looked to the floor, waiting for his friend to leave him in peace. He didn't want to do anything, he didn't want to bathe, he didn't want to walk, and he didn't even want to stand. His body felt too heavy to hold itself up, his mind ached with the simplest of thoughts, and Riku expected him to adhere to his demands? Sora watched Riku's platinum blonde hair disappear behind the door, listening as the boy made his way down the hallway back to where they had both shared a bed.

Everything was so quiet then, peaceful as Sora sat, surrounded by four unrelenting white walls. The room was filled with his mother, her shower puff hanging over the bathtub drain, her body wash set upon the counter just waiting for her to return. Quietly Sora grasped the small bottle, holding it tight between his two hands. He felt like a child attempting something he might be scolded for as his thumbs caught the hitch in plastic, popping the vile open. The scent that lingered wasn't strong, a sweet aroma of strawberries and fluff rousing his senses. His hands gave the bottle a soft squeeze, drawing the small container closer to his nose as the sweet scent of strawberries and marshmallow stole his breath away. Sora's eyes closed, a soft sight escaping his body as he perched himself upon the toilet seat. Everything within him shook, from his knees to his shoulders, he trembled, inhaling the sweet nostalgic scent.

Soft footsteps provoked a slight awareness stirring within as Riku poked his head in the door. A frown met his lips when he realized that Sora hadn't climbed into the shower willingly. "Sora..." he lightly scolded, slipping passed the door in order to close them in.

"Mum use to smell like this..." Sora offered as a pathetic excuse, holding the small bottle of body wash for his friend to see.

"I know Sora, I know... but you need to do something for you now..." Riku pleaded with his friend, moving passed the doorway and towards the smaller boys body. He wanted to veil his friend from the world of pain and sorrow, wrap his arms around the younger boy, hold him to his chest and wait for the painful moment to pass them by. But painful moment would bleed into another painful moment and Sora would be left to wallow in the self loathing Riku was so desperate to wake him from.

From where Riku stood, there wasn't much of a choice left; Sora was so unwilling to help himself, that nothing would get done. "I was really hoping you wouldn't do this..." he told Sora wistfully, prying the small bottle from his dear friend's hands. "Come on, up you come..."

Sora's weight felt like nothing beneath Riku's tug as the older boy brought his friend to his feet. "Arms up..." he instructed, slowly tugging the shirt Sora had been wearing since Riku arrived up and over his head. "I don't know whether to wash that or burn it..." Riku teased, it was an attempt to lighten the mood, but only yielded a saddened pout from the younger lad.

"Don't worry; I'll go in the wash after your sheets are done." With a soft flutter, Sora's shirt had been dropped with the floor. Riku's thumb carefully tracing the contours of his young friends face before he drew Sora into a tight warm hug. Nothing he said could make things right, nothing he did could bring a smile to those cautious lips. Sora had been hurt and was having a very hard time dealing with the aftermath.

It was hard to release the young one from his hug, but his body was starting to smell stale, a nice warm bath would to him good, it might even make him feel a little better. That was the hope anyway.

Riku slipped from Sora's side, careful not to detach himself from the forlorn child for too long. His movements were fast and efficient, dropping the tub stopper into place before quickly fiddling with the taps. Soon the mellow tones of rushing water met their ears, "bubblebath?" Riku offered, turning his head to catch a meek nod from his friend.

After adding the thick pink liquid to the bathwater, Riku puttered a moment, preparing towels and face clothes along with a few other small items before returning his attention back upon Sora. It was obvious how serious about this Riku had been, but, the younger of the two made no protest as Riku's fingers tread lightly along the elastic waist of his sweat pants. Cautiously pulling the material of both Sora's boxers and pants down to his ankles Riku motioned for Sora to step out, leaving the smaller boy with nothing to cover his body.

The feeling of standing there, so vulnerable and bare in front of Riku wasn't awkward, but humbling. Sora didn't mind so much that his best friend had been at eye level with the most intimate areas of his body, or that he intended on staying through the entire bathing process. He was thankful. Thankful that Riku was there, helping him, making him do things he didn't really want to do. True it might have been an embarrassing story had anyone ever witnessed, but Riku wouldn't tell a soul. Sora knew he could be weak in front of him, he knew he could cry, or be naked, and his friend wouldn't judge him in the least. That was why he granted his friend just a little more leeway, stepping out of his clothes, Riku's hand at the small of his back as he stepped from the cold tile into the warm bubbles prepared lovingly by his friend.

"Good..." Riku purred, watching as Sora lowered himself into the soft fluffy substance. He allowed his friend a few moments to get use to the temperature, dropping to his knees at the bathtubs edge. "Thank you..." he whispered, dousing a facecloth in the warm water before placing a tender kiss upon Sora's forehead.

His movements were tentative and slow, wiping away beneath and around Sora's eyes. Gracefully brushing the soft material over the young boys cheek and behind his ears. Riku's shirt had become rolled up to his elbows, avoiding the water each time he brought the facecloth back into the warm liquid. He didn't say a word, only watched carefully as he continued to run the warm wash cloth over Sora's tense neck. He felt the slight pressure from Sora's body as the young boy leaned into the contact, resting his head against Riku's wrist a moment.

The poor boy was tired, the warm water lulling him to sleep amidst a sea of bubbles and the kind contact granted by his friend. Sora felt the ache of his loss slipping with each stroke of the warm cloth against his body. Riku was washing the hurt away. His tender embrace drew the demons from Sora's frail frame, elevating a lot of the weight which had forced itself upon his shoulders.

"You're really tense..." Riku observed quietly, squeezing the water laden washcloth upon the base of Sora's neck.

Kisses of soft, warm water droplets fluttered at his skin slipping down over Sora's back as the young boy gave a half awkward smile. "I can do that now..." he told Riku, stealing away the cloth as the older of the two had begun scrubbing beneath Sora's collarbone.

Riku merely nodded, ignoring the faint blush set in upon Sora's cheeks. He backed off, sitting, his back against the wall not far from the tub. Sora seemed a little better then before. His eyes had lost their lifeless sheen, adopting a curious vigour as he washed at his arms and chest, watching the water drip slowly over his skin. They sat like that, silence encroaching upon their time together before Riku roused once more.

"I forgot" he cried, slipping back to his knees as he crawled towards Sora and his bubbles.

Sora's head fell to the side, mop of precious brown hair kissing the length of his shoulder. He watched as Riku scuttled to his side, rummaging into the depth of his pocket. It seemed a dramatic attempt at something small, but Sora wasn't sure exactly what to think. Blue eyes watched curiously, his hands gripping at the white porcelain of the wash tub as Riku finally drew back his hand, smile worn upon his pretty face.

"I thought you might need this." the older boy explained, producing a small yellow object within the palm of his hand.

Sora merely blinked, not sure what to do or say in that moment. Words seemed to choke him, cutting off all important thoughts to leave him with a blank stare.

Riku laughed softly, setting the small yellow duck upon the edge of the tub where Sora might better access it. "You're mum gave that to me when I had my tonsils removed, remember?" Riku offered pathetically.

A duck, a small yellow duck. Sora's eyes turned upon Riku, torn from the small plastic creature. He watched his friend, liquid blue eyes threatening the tears which would inevitably fall. "Mum Loved ducks..." he stated quietly, not sure what he was supposed to do.

"Yeah, said it was a good luck charm, it'd make me feel better... seems you need it now more then I do."

"I can't believe you kept this..." came the whimper of a reply.

Nodding Riku grinned, "Course I did, your mum gave that to me."

"Stupid ducks, she always loved those stupid ducks..."

Sora seemed fixated on the duck, tears rolling down his cheeks in a stream of emotional release. He appeared at peace and yet so very confused at the same time, lost in thought about small yellow rubber.

"She did have an affinity for stupid creatures..." Riku mused.

Sora glared, "Hey..." at least he was in good spirits though.

"She always said, _a rubber duck can be your best friend, you take them on the most intimate journey's you can tell them your deepest secrets and the only thing they'll say in return, is_" With a small poke, the duck let out a soft squeak, finishing the sentence on a warm note.

"Probably told the poor thing loads of dirty stuff..." Sora mumbled.

Riku chuckled, splashing his young friend with a big of warm water, "you'll never know will ya." he commented jovially.

Sora smiled too, taking the small yellow object in his hand. The rubber seemed old, a little dirty from wear and age. One black eye was nearly scratched off, drawn on again in what appeared to be permanent marker. This duck had meant something to Riku. Sora's mother had meant something to Riku and now he sat on the floor of their bathroom, taking care of him.

"Ri?"

"Yeah Sora?" care his reply to the affectionate nickname.

"Will you wash my hair?" That meek request brought a familiar rouge back into Sora's cheeks. He seemed to shy away from Riku's smile, eyes focussed upon the small duck as his friend complied with the request.

It hadn't been that Sora was incapable of doing such menial tasks himself. He longed for the contact broken the moment he took on the task of washing himself. He missed the tender way in which Riku would allow his hands to flutter over his body. Sora just watched, eyes half open as Riku doused his head in water allowing his fingers to run through the tangled mess of hair Sora so shamefully wore. He couldn't believe it had been two weeks since his last shower, two weeks without being clean. It was embarrassing if you really thought about it. Two weeks wallowing in your own filth, Riku must have thought he was disgusting.

The young boy hung his head slightly, allowing Riku t massage the base of his neck, fingers raking through silky tresses. There was something in the embrace that had caused Sora to gasp, moan even as the older boy massaged his scalp. The pads of his fingers worked effortlessly, allowing Sora to unwind beneath the contact.

When at last the task had been complete, Sora's body pruned and wrinkled, Riku motioned for a towel. Blush set against Sora's cheeks as he realised Riku wasn't going anywhere, just standing there with a puffy blue fabric, waiting for the younger boy to step into it.

Hesitantly Sora stood, set rouge enveloping his rounded cheeks, desperate to avoid the gaze held by his companion. Childhood seemed so long ago, a time when two young boys running naked wouldn't have bothered a soul. They, however, were not children any longer, but to young adults, young adults who now knew the difference between socially acceptable and down right taboo. Sora doubted even his very liberal minded father would under stand the situation at hand. Yet there he stood, exposed before his best friend, a towel in Riku's arms as he waited patiently to welcome his dear friend into a warm embrace. It didn't matter how Sora had been dressed, clad in more or less then the towel, Riku's expression would remain the same. That warm endearing smile that asked for, pleaded for any sign from Sora that he would be ok.

Quietly Sora muscled passed the small lump which developed at the back of his throat. His eyes travelled slowly, from the small fist full of towel Riku clung to, to his friends flexed forearms waiting to engross Sora in a warm and tender embrace. His shirt sleeves had remained rolled up, but lie speckled with water all the same. Sora knew Riku didn't mind, but the fact remained, those tiny splotches were his fault.

Riku only seemed to smile. He paid no mind to the small spots of wet which decorated his clothing as he encased Sora in the towel and a warm hug. The flesh of Riku's forearms fell upon the tiny arch of the small boy's shoulder blades, drawing the wet body towards his warmth. Sora was soft beneath him, delicate as a china vase. He was the one thing that mattered over top of anything Riku had ever cherished within his life. His best friend... hands groping the boys shoulder in order to promote the sweet warming friction intended to dry his dripping body.

It seemed fitting they find themselves within this moment, a new level upon the ladder which their friendship's foundation had been built on. As children they had been thrown together, forced to play and laugh with one another because there was no one else. Their friendship had been one of circumstance, something that benefited both children. But when Riku started school, when he gained friends, experiencing the world one step ahead of Sora, he kept his dear one at his side, hand held open as Riku lead Sora into a new world. Every experience they shared had brought them closer, neither seemed capable of breath without knowledge that somewhere out there, the other existed, waiting for the moment when they might join again.

That had been their lives, the way each day seemed to flow. Riku's image plagued Sora's mind daily as he wondered what adventures and trouble the elder boy would be getting into. How much homework he had, if he'd call later, or most importantly, if Riku thought of him too. He had more invested in the friendship then either boy seemed to realise. Both relished within the presence of the other, both fell beneath their need for familiarity. Sora was just happy to have Riku back, it didn't seem to matter the wretched circumstances, or how completely naked he was in that exact moment.

"See… feels better to be clean doesn't it…" Riku drawled quietly, allowing the towel to slide up over Sora's body to meet the young mans shaggy mop of hair.

The warmth of the fabric seemed to glide over his body, its fleeting embrace slipping up over bare thigh and tight stomach as Riku made to massage the wetness out of Sora's hair. It was awkward and yet some how ok, Sora knew his friend couldn't see, wasn't watching his private areas as the cold bite of air snipped and snapped at his flesh. Truthfully it didn't matter that his legs were exposed, his backside out in the open because Riku couldn't see…

"NnnNnnh…" Sora moaned, his eyes closed quietly as Riku's fingers manipulated through his hair forcefully shag drying the soft strands to perfection. "C-cold though…"

Riku only seemed to smile, shifting their bodies so that his arms draped around Sora one last time, the towel falling back around the brunettes shoulders. "Sorry, you scamper off and put something on, we'll curl up and watch a movie or something, just make sure you've got something picked when I walk in…" he offered with a smile, snugging the towel securely around Sora one last time. "oh… and by the way…" Riku added in a sly suggestive grin, his hands upon Sora's hips, then around to the round slope of his bottom. Sora tensed slightly, Riku only pressing his chest against the wet child, his lips lingering upon the outskirts of Sora's ear, "very adorable tush, irresistible really, I couldn't help but stare…"  
Sora's blue eyes shot wide, "Wa..hu.. uh.. ho… wa?" he stammered, cheeks flushed an adorable shade of brilliant pink. He didn't know what to say, what to do, or what to think. He could only turn; gazing over his shoulder into the mirror he should have known was there. "Riiiiiikuuuuu…" the boy whined pathetically, his eyes catching his friends hand as it lingered a moment or two upon the soft curve and roll Sora's delicate body seemed to offer.

The silver haired beauty only seemed to smile smugly, placing a gentle kiss upon Sora's nose. "Sooooooraaaaaa…." He whined back, voice soft, words uttered just inches from the younger's parted and absolutely dumbfounded lips.

He could almost taste Riku, the bitter sweet aroma of his cologne, the distinguished scent of something deeper, something like fresh rain or crisp air. He wanted those sensations to linger within his mouth, to taste them upon his tongue…

"Sor, sweetie, you up there?"

What was that? A voice?

The bathroom and its memories seemed to dissipate, white walls and pristine countertops turning to dark and dusty floorboards and boxes of junk. The light seemed to slip through a covered up window, holes stabbed in its surface of the dark sheet cover to shed small trails of light across the floor. The warmth of the room felt as stuffy and stagnant as the warm air left over from a bath, but dusty and slightly suffocating.  
Why was he up there again?

"Sora…?" the voice called again in its familiar note of concern, "Sora love, I'm coming up?"

It was Riku…

Sora could only smile as he pushed aside the box he must have been rummaging through to pad towards the attic opening. A long thread of stairs leading to the off-white halls below, and at their edge stood Riku. "Right here…" Sora called with a smile, waving his warm towards the ceiling in order to beckon his friend closer.

"You sure pick strange hiding spots…" the older boy drawled, clambering up the steps, his hands groping hole in the ceiling in order to pull himself through. "What are you doing up here anyway?"

"Day dreaming..." Sora called wistfully, his body bent low to meet Riku's. Their lips brushing against one another's in a soft sweet kiss, "There were a few things I had to make sure to pack, don't want to leave anything important behind you know…  
Riku could only laugh, brushing off his knees as he forced himself to his feet. "If you hid it away up here, how important could it be…" he asked curiously, eyeing the many boxes of over flowing stuff. Baby toys toppled over the sides of one, another set towards the staircase marked 'blankets and Sora's boo'. It made Riku smile as he traced his fingers across his loves delicate cheek, "I think I get it now..." he added softly.

"Never really got a chance to go through her things… I thought… maybe a few pictures, maybe a corny decoration or two… might make the place sort of feel like home…"  
"It feels like home, half your stuff is already invading my bedroom." Riku teased, though knew where Sora was headed with this, "you know I don't mind…" he cut off the pout Sora had begun to sport, "Your mum would make a fine addition to _our_ home…"

Sora broke out in a grin as he carried himself away from Riku. His bare feet struck the hollow wood floor loudly as he motioned towards the box he had been looking through before its contents and a swarm of memories stole him away. The young lad dropped to his knees, digging quietly a moment through its contents. "Been five months you know…" he said conversationally.

"Five months, one week and six days if you want to be technical…" Riku added with a lame smile, stealing away from the staircase to place himself at Sora's back. He'd dropped to his knees, torso pressed into Sora as he peered over the brunette's shoulder capturing a better idea of what the boy had been looking at.

"Funny, didn't take you for the sentimental sort…"  
"It was more of a count down until you moved in, then I got bored and started keeping track of other things…"  
"Oh yeah, like?"

Riku blushed; Sora smiled, triumphantly, "nothing…"

He nodded and giggled, blush creeping into his cheeks as it always did when such soft noises fluttered from his petite form. Sora knew he'd cornered Riku on something, flustered the young man to the point he wasn't sure what to say, or what would be safe to say at this point. The younger of the two only leaned back, wiggling his body against Riku's in an attempt to act sexy and provocative. It failed however as his love found something else grab his interest. The steady form beneath his back shifted and Sora found himself pushed forwards, strong arms reaching passed his shoulders to grasp a small object from the boy.

"Why is this up here…" Riku seemed to demand.

Sora hung his head, turning ever so slightly that he might catch the cool aquamarine glow from his friends eyes, "that's not the same one!" he offered as Riku toyed with a familiar object. The small yellow plastic far dirtier then it had been on the day Riku had handed it over to Sora. Its eyes all but washed off, clearly used as some form of comfort over the past few months.

"Bull Sora…"

"Really… look…" Sora wrenched the object from Riku's hands to turn if over. There written against the dirty yellow was a name, Sora's mothers name to be exact and a date. "Mum and dad's anniversary…"

"You're dad gave her a duck?"

Sora gave a half sort of laugh, "yeah, you know she always had an affinity for dumb animals…" he offered with a grin, his attention falling to the boy at his back. "Think we can put them up in the bedroom?"

The silver haired boy nodded casually, feeling the heat of his young loves lips raise to his neck. "Sor… Sora… not here…" he begged, reluctant to push the young terror off as he latched his lips upon Riku's neck. Oh how it pained him, his voice filled with a strong unrelenting desire. Desire for more, while he commanded the lithe brunette to stop his demanding mouth work.

The young one had turned awkwardly, watching aquamarine globes glow with the husky struggled control Sora had known so well. His lips formed the softest of pouts as his presence lingered inches from Riku's body, "aweee but Rii…" he purred, leaning forwards until their bodies collided and Riku was on his back, knees bent and feet pushing against the floor in an awkward splaying of his legs. Sora seemed to fit snugly between the pillars, his torso pressed firmly against Riku's lower regions, fingers prying at the material of his shirt.

"Don't gi-give me that!" Riku gaped blindly as Sora's lips nipped at the delicate flesh over the crest of his pelvic bones. God damn the boy was persistent when he wanted something.

"Give you what…" Sora played innocently, his tongue lapping at the arousing flesh which decorated his boyfriend's stomach, placing kisses of tender adoration across Riku's belly. It wasn't that me meant to be seductive per say, just give them a taste of what his life would be like for years to come. Yes, when Sora thought of them, he thought in terms of eternities, not weeks.

"I'm not doing anything…" he purred against the pale flesh of Riku's naval, allowing his tongue to dart into the tiny orifice a moment, an act which merited a loud squeal and laughter from the boy beneath.

Involuntarily, Riku bucked his hips, pressing his stomach further into Sora's unrelenting torment of insatiable nibbles and nips, "Bull… shit…" Riku muttered over a stifled half moan which was working its way over his lips. _Damnit Sora_ his mind ached to say the beauty's name, to reverse their roles and hear his own uttered in tones of passion as Sora gasped for air.

Sora merely hummed gently against Riku's skin, pressing his nose into the height of his hips. Riku was beautiful, Sora worshiped the ground the handsome boy walked on, but he was just far too easy to toy with. One soft kiss and Riku was like putty in his hands, a powerful truth which left the silver haired youth at Sora's mercy one too many times. It was something Sora enjoyed though, times like these where he could feel Riku's mounting excitement. A feeling of both warmth and pressure building beneath the young mans trousers. "just think… you asked _this _to live with you…" Sora laughed softly, his mouth swallowing a patch of soft flesh, tongue darting over its surface in swirls and patters of the simplest pleasure. He could feel Riku shiver, sure of the impure thoughts flooding his lovers mind, Sora quickly drew in a sharp breath to exhale sharply against Riku's flesh. The rude noise echoed throughout the room bouncing off wall to leave Sora in a fit of giggles. That surly cooled Riku's jets. The young mans jaw opened madly in a mix of shock and terror.

"Plenty of time to be a perv later…" Sora sang softly before throwing his body down against Riku's.

Their chests met, Sora's nose nudging beneath his nose, snuggling tight to Riku's body. "Oh don't worry, once we get home…" He just loved saying it, home, a place where they both belonged, together. They could lounge around all day in nothing but their boxers, lie in bed eating Oreos or watch TV naked if they wanted to. It was _their home._ "You know I'm not going to let you ditch of classes…" the tease came as his arms enveloped the young mans body, pressing the brunette's head tight against his chest.

"mmMm…" came Sora's lame reply, eyes closed as he relished in the warmth allowed by Riku's dominated form.

Quiet fell upon them, time went on as the two lie there for minutes before either decided to stir. When a body did move, it'd been Sora. Propped up on his elbows he gazed lovingly upon Riku's quiet form, lips pursed as if to say something, scared and yet exhilarated all at the same time. Instead he drew back, legs crossed beneath his tired body, attention drawn back to the small rubber duck. The object rolled over in his hands, once, twice, three times, before he managed to sit it upright, giving Riku time to adjust his position on the floor.

His arms now lie draped over tented knees, body leaning against the sturdy structures as he watched curiously, "you ok baby?" he half used the pet name cause he knew Sora hated it, claimed it mocked his childlike beauty, half used it because it fit so well.

Sora however didn't bite; he just watched the yellow duck planted safely within the palm of his hand. "You think… you think someone will ever love me that much?"

Riku's eyes grew wide as he attempted to comprehend what it was Sora was saying, "enough to give you a rubber duck, sweetie, I already gave you one…"

A smile, "no jack ass…" the offensive name almost sounded endearing as it fell from Sora's lips, "I mean… you think I'll ever be… in that kind of love, where… where… something that simple will mean the world. Or like…" he paused a moment chewing on his lower lip, "They'll just know me enough to _know_ something this simple will make me smile…"

He was serious too, desperate to put two and two together in order to spell out his entire future right then and there. Sora pondered so deeply over the meaning of love and devotion he hadn't noticed Riku's body shifting closer, his hand cupping Sora's cheek, eyes grown soft.

"You will…" another smile, this time it became contagious, "I can't promise you now, or even three months down the road, but Sora…" Riku's thumb traced the high arch of the brunettes cheek bone, "Sora, love, you're my best friend, I love you dearly as such, and I'm tempted to say I love you as so much more." Sora had motioned to speak, reddening blush swarming his cheeks, but Riku halted him a moment, allowing himself time to continue, "It may be soon, it may be too late, I don't know, but I can't look at you and see anyone else in your place. In your eyes, I see myself falling in love over and over and over again. I know you're quirks, and I can promise you, if you let me, this feeling, this burning, god I'm going to die if I don't touch him right now, if I don't see his smiling face, this undeniable drowning, floating on air, feeling… It'll grow until it swallows me whole, and I'll let it. Just be patient and what I feel, it'll be greater then that…"

Sora's eyes were laden with tears as he watched Riku's mouth move, "we're keeping this damn duck as something to strive towards."

"If not, as a love that keeps us strong…"

"I'm never throwing this damn thing out, I think I understand why mum loved Rubber duck's so much now…"

Riku's body shifted, moving to rest upon his knees, his tall form towering over Sora's "I think I can see why your father loved your mother so much…" Riku mimed, drawing Sora down against his body, arms encircling his shoulders as Riku ate up the precious beauty beneath him. University was meant to be a time of change, to find yourself and discover who you are outside the confines of home. It was within Sora, however, Riku found his self discovery taking flight.

"Our whole place is going to be ducks…" he chuckled softly, allowing his cheek to rest against Sora's crown, in his mind, Rubber Ducks were now a symbol of love.

* * *

A/N: well that's it... hopefully it didn't piss people off or make anyone angry?  
The end may be a little choppy, I wrote it in like a month, the last half finished weeks after I started it. When asking what I should write about, my friend noted both our display pictures on MSN had rubber ducks in em so, I kind of went with that.  
Neway, read and review, lemme know watcha'll think!! 

lots of love!


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